Sage Enthusiast Pillows

"Always stay rooted, or you'll turn into a tumbleweed..."

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

"But how do I accomplish that in 140 characters or less?"

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

'I've been sitting on this mountain for 25 years, and what I've learned is that true happiness can only be found in the soothing relief of a fast-acting hemorrhoid cream!'

Pessimists v Optimists.

"It just happens...one day you wake up and you find that your best billable hours are behind you."

The Inner Dog.

The New Age Dentist.

"I wish you people would just read the blog."

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

"Malachite promotes inner peace, hope and security, but I can’t say for certain it will help you put up with your boss."

"I totally forgot what I came up here for."

'No, even I don't know the secret of golf.'

New Age Pit Bull

"That's the Press Corps Hospitality Tent. We had better get tooled up and make a start."

'So then I thought, what's the idea job for a gentleman with my years of experience, wisdom and a desire to help others.'

Construction zone ends. Please resume following your bliss.

Bucket List Coffee Shop - "Where Seniors Get Big Ideas!"

"My life is a powerful blast tocenter field easily snagged on the warning track."

'It appears to be a blog clog.'

Wang Yangming takes a scroll of knowledge from a crane.

'Found it ... Good heavens! It's the size of a soccer ball!..'

'Sometimes I see problems and solutions with such clarity, I feel I've been infused with all the wisdom of the ages... THAT'S when I know I've had too much to drink.'

'Okay, one more saga and then off you go to sleep.'

"It's customary to climb all the way up."

"What makes you think I have buck fever?"

"Meaning of life? Oh, you want my brother. Third mountain over on my right. Me, I'm just a hermit."

'This would make a great back massager.'

"If you don't want to know the score..."

Jesus Saves

"I want to apologize for some of the remarks I made during the heat of battle."

"When your only tool is a trebuchet, every problem looks like a siege."

"Another miss, sir."

New Age Auto Repair