Sage Advice Enthusiast Gifts

"It's customary to climb all the way up."

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

'I used to spring forward. Now all I can do is fall back.'

'In general, do the right thing.'

The older I get, the more introspective I get, or is that retrospective?'

'Chicken soup for dummies who don't sweat the small stuff.'

"No, I want to know the meaning of never calling your mother."

"If you see this as motherly advice, we have a whole new subject to explore."

'Have you considered getting a life-coach?'

"It just happens...one day you wake up and you find that your best billable hours are behind you."

'I'm prescribing a laxative pill and a sleeping pill. Never, never take them together.'

'If you can tell the difference between good advice and bad advice, you don't need advice.'

"Only time can heal a broken heart, Brenda, and fortunately I have the time, every Thursday at three o'clock."

"I wish you people would just read the blog."

"Time heals all wounds. It also kills every living thing."

'They say ninety is the new eighty.'

'The secret to staying in business, Wilson, is making something that's needed. Profit!'

'No, even I don't know the secret of golf.'

"There's someone here who says she has a word to the wise. Do we have anyone like that?"

'Plant a tree, build a house, father a child and make sure that there is a good lawyer in your closest circle of friends.'

"Don't worry, it's nothing."

"I totally forgot what I came up here for."

"You're confusing guilt with feelings of remorse. With remorse, you don't need a lawyer."

How to believe in yourself.

'How do you think I ended up alone on the top of a mountain?'

'I want to lose weight, Doctor.' - 'Eat less, then.' - 'I need it to be more complicated than that.' - 'Why?' - 'How can I justify failing if it's that simple, eh?!' - 'Gah. He's breaking me...' -

'My astrologer says one thing, my guru says another, my psychiatrist says something else - I don't know who to turn to anymore.'

'All that we learn from history is that we don't learn from history...'

Avoid boys who spend more on hair products than you do!

'I asked you for one good reason why I should follow your advice, not six.'

"I'll give you some advice. When you're up to your nose, keep your mouth shut."

'Sometimes I see problems and solutions with such clarity, I feel I've been infused with all the wisdom of the ages... THAT'S when I know I've had too much to drink.'

"Always stay rooted, or you'll turn into a tumbleweed..."

Bucket List Coffee Shop - "Where Seniors Get Big Ideas!"

'These people have terrible attention spans - I'll just bring them ten commandments at a time.'