Advice Enthusiasts Gifts

'I see that you're the sort of guy who will pay through the nose for bad advice.'

"Feel free to take notes."

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'In general, do the right thing.'

"No, I want to know the meaning of never calling your mother."

"A word of advice, sir...when your wife reaches for another slice of pizza, never, ever say, 'Are you sure you should be eating that?'"

"If you see this as motherly advice, we have a whole new subject to explore."

"I feel I'm losing touch with the unrealistic view I have of him."

Gold versus Knowledge

'Have you considered getting a life-coach?'

'If you can tell the difference between good advice and bad advice, you don't need advice.'

"Only time can heal a broken heart, Brenda, and fortunately I have the time, every Thursday at three o'clock."

The Book of 'Everything You Need To Know.'

'I inherited therefore I am'

'The secret to staying in business, Wilson, is making something that's needed. Profit!'

"By now, you've probably noticed that around here, money talks and you-know-what walks!"

"There's someone here who says she has a word to the wise. Do we have anyone like that?"

"I'll be answering that question and many more in next week's webinar."

'How do you think I ended up alone on the top of a mountain?'

"Some will love you and some will hate you. It's always been that way with anchovies."

'My astrologer says one thing, my guru says another, my psychiatrist says something else - I don't know who to turn to anymore.'

'I asked you for one good reason why I should follow your advice, not six.'

"I'll give you some advice. When you're up to your nose, keep your mouth shut."

Avoid boys who spend more on hair products than you do!

'Oh yeah! My self help group knows a lot more than your psychiatrist. First of all, there's a lot more of them.'

"You know, after all these years of giving you advice on all. Things personal and professional, it occurred to me that you've never actually asked for my opinion."

'This box usually yields one or two sensible suggestions,four or five stupid ideas,ten to twenty immoral suggestions and several hundred candy wrappers.'

'I fired my motivational trainer and started listening to my mother.'

"It's the Ask Sadie advice hour. 'Shmernie' in Vermont, you're on. What's your problem?" "How do I know when it's time to give up? I've tried so hard to warn people about how they're getting screwed over, but they keep vot-- I mean, hanging out with the screwer-overers." "Give it up, 'Shmernie!' It's over!" "This reminds me of the time great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandmother Cohen's advice show answered a parchment from 'S

Bob's Marriage Advice: 'Let me give you some advice on marriage, Joe. . . try to think of me as the pope. . .'