Advice Enthusiasts Gifts

'I see that you're the sort of guy who will pay through the nose for bad advice.'

"Feel free to take notes."

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'In general, do the right thing.'

Randy the Love Doctor. What ails you, brother? My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony. But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike? Of course. That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all. Exactly ... Wait, what do you mean by that?

"No, I want to know the meaning of never calling your mother."

"A word of advice, sir...when your wife reaches for another slice of pizza, never, ever say, 'Are you sure you should be eating that?'"

Gold versus Knowledge

"I feel I'm losing touch with the unrealistic view I have of him."

"If you see this as motherly advice, we have a whole new subject to explore."

'Have you considered getting a life-coach?'

'If you can tell the difference between good advice and bad advice, you don't need advice.'

'Let me remind you that any advice you receive is protected by copyright and I retain all rights therein.'

"I don't have any opinions, and my wife things whatever Oprah thinks,."

"Only time can heal a broken heart, Brenda, and fortunately I have the time, every Thursday at three o'clock."

The Book of 'Everything You Need To Know.'

'I inherited therefore I am'

'The secret to staying in business, Wilson, is making something that's needed. Profit!'

Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers! Send your questions to asksadie@rudypark.com. Dear Ask Sadie, My mom is always nagging me to clean my room. I don't see why I should have to. I like it the way it is. I don't nag at her for having a clean room, because I know that's how she likes it. How can I get her to just let me be me? - Unhappy at Home. Excellent question. The thing is, it's your mother's job to shape you into a respectable person. If you think "being you" includes being dirt

Ask Sadie. I am getting divorced and I moved to Vegas. Do you think that's a smart move? - Jim. *Actual reader letter. Jim, this is a great question. One I get all the time. You do? Really? Oh yes, people are always asking me for my advice after they've already done something. You're about to yell. What do you need me for if you've already moved, you !@#$ dillweed? She gives that answer all the time.

"By now, you've probably noticed that around here, money talks and you-know-what walks!"

"There's someone here who says she has a word to the wise. Do we have anyone like that?"

"I'll be answering that question and many more in next week's webinar."

'How do you think I ended up alone on the top of a mountain?'

"Some will love you and some will hate you. It's always been that way with anchovies."

"I'll give you some advice. When you're up to your nose, keep your mouth shut."

'I asked you for one good reason why I should follow your advice, not six.'

'My astrologer says one thing, my guru says another, my psychiatrist says something else - I don't know who to turn to anymore.'

Avoid boys who spend more on hair products than you do!

'Oh yeah! My self help group knows a lot more than your psychiatrist. First of all, there's a lot more of them.'

'This box usually yields one or two sensible suggestions,four or five stupid ideas,ten to twenty immoral suggestions and several hundred candy wrappers.'

"You know, after all these years of giving you advice on all. Things personal and professional, it occurred to me that you've never actually asked for my opinion."

'I fired my motivational trainer and started listening to my mother.'

"It's the Ask Sadie advice hour. 'Shmernie' in Vermont, you're on. What's your problem?" "How do I know when it's time to give up? I've tried so hard to warn people about how they're getting screwed over, but they keep vot-- I mean, hanging out with the screwer-overers." "Give it up, 'Shmernie!' It's over!" "This reminds me of the time great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandmother Cohen's advice show answered a parchment from 'S

A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, Al. I might have found that quote useful if not for my deadly fear of hobgoblins.