Advice Aficionados Gifts

"You know, after all these years of giving you advice on all. Things personal and professional, it occurred to me that you've never actually asked for my opinion."

'Honestly Nigel, your need for Special Advisers has got completely out of hand.'

"Bill did the voice-over for this commercial."

'In general, do the right thing.'

"No, I want to know the meaning of never calling your mother."

"If you see this as motherly advice, we have a whole new subject to explore."

The Acme Agency: Dedicated to life, liberty and the pursuit of media exposure.

'Have you considered getting a life-coach?'

'If you can tell the difference between good advice and bad advice, you don't need advice.'

"Only time can heal a broken heart, Brenda, and fortunately I have the time, every Thursday at three o'clock."

"I'd like you to meet our director of scratch-and-sniff advertising."

'My other baby is Mercedes'

Fisherman: 'HOLY MACKEREL!'

"Sinead?!"

"I hope you don't think I'm the kind who would hibernate on the first date."

'I understand night and day, but which came first?'

The Surly Yoof

'It's our fifth date, so I'll take a box of impatience.'

'The secret to staying in business, Wilson, is making something that's needed. Profit!'

"No darling, there's nothing magical in the air, I just farted"

"There's someone here who says she has a word to the wise. Do we have anyone like that?"

'Thank you colonel we'll keep your strategy in mind.'

'I think I've spotted our problem.' (too many consultants)

'How do you think I ended up alone on the top of a mountain?'

Advertising Lessons from the Old School

'Son, there's more to life than dunking, There's also making big money from ads, like Yao Ming'

"I'll give you some advice. When you're up to your nose, keep your mouth shut."

QR tattoo.

'My astrologer says one thing, my guru says another, my psychiatrist says something else - I don't know who to turn to anymore.'

'I asked you for one good reason why I should follow your advice, not six.'

Avoid boys who spend more on hair products than you do!

'Oh yeah! My self help group knows a lot more than your psychiatrist. First of all, there's a lot more of them.'

'This box usually yields one or two sensible suggestions,four or five stupid ideas,ten to twenty immoral suggestions and several hundred candy wrappers.'

Spice Up Your Conversation - Quote Yourself...

"I know absolutely nothing about that subject, but I will give you my opinion."