Name Aficionados Gifts

"Sinead?!"

'My other baby is Mercedes'

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

Mom! Don't call me abominadorable in front of my friends!

"Wow, what a DILF."

What should we do this fine Sunday? I have an idea. Let's spend the day staring at each other and using pet names. Ahem. You affection is making us ill! They're upset, Monkey Bear. You're so handsome. We're trying to eat!

Baptism Then and Now

'And though he died during the hunt, we can only assume that George L Jones would want this new species of butt-faced clown monkey to forever bear his name.'

'I had to stamp down on staff using nicknames at work. They even had one for me!'

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

Tom Cruise

J.P.Hensmore Superintendent AKA Head Honcho, The Big Guy,The Man, Numero Uno and The Big Cheese.

'We don't have anyone here by that name. Was he perhaps using one of his aliases?'

"Really? 'Yeller'? That's what you want to name him?"

Books: Names That Will Make Your Child Hate You!

Dear Sadie, I'm just an aging Baby-Boomer who still believes in America, and sees all the good around me, but I don't understand why we've become so mean. How can I feel good about us again? Signed, Marlemarion. Great question. There's an easy answer as to how you can feel better about the world. Change your name to something normal! I just don't agree with the @#$% premise that we've gotten mean.

"I hope you don't think I'm the kind who would hibernate on the first date."

What really became of the boy named Sue.

"Costs have risen by 200% and we are behind schedule. We are living up to our acronym gentlemen and I am not happy about it!!"

'Charles Frederick and Camilla Gladys!'

'Then again, who says we can't call it a mangelwurzel?'

"We're callin' 'im Bill, coz he came at the end of the month"

'Agreed, 'Laplace Algebra Matrix Expansion' is a good topic, but we'd better find a better acronym if we want to secure a Research Grant...'

'It's our fifth date, so I'll take a box of impatience.'

1,001 names to Embarrass Your Child for Life.

"No darling, there's nothing magical in the air, I just farted"

'Now that I'm King, no more of that 'Eddie' stuff, Mom.'

"In my experience, cars with hyphens in their names are the best."

CEO, CFO, MOO.

William Shakespeare Civil Court Judge. Well, you can legally change your name, but it won't make any real difference, Rose.

Mr Long and Miss Short.

"Boss, I didn't understand your memo. It reads 'W.U.W.T.M.S.A.' What does that mean?"

'The problem with being a Chihuahua is that everybody calls me 'Pepe'... My name is actually Humphrey Reginald Windsor the Third...'

'Aren't they wonderful? And your wife's already named them John and Edward.'