Naming Aficionado Gifts

"We're for calling it 'Hampton,' but they want to call it 'the Hamptons.' "

'Looking back, maybe I shouldn't have called you 'Flash'. It just seems sarcastic now.'

'How am I meant to be a lean mean rodent killing machine with a name like 'Twinky'!'

'Then again, who says we can't call it a mangelwurzel?'

'Mozart...as your agent I strongly advise against your choice of stage name...'

Baptism Then and Now

'Aren't they wonderful? And your wife's already named them John and Edward.'

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

Mom! Don't call me abominadorable in front of my friends!

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

What should we do this fine Sunday? I have an idea. Let's spend the day staring at each other and using pet names. Ahem. You affection is making us ill! They're upset, Monkey Bear. You're so handsome. We're trying to eat!

"Wow, what a DILF."

'And though he died during the hunt, we can only assume that George L Jones would want this new species of butt-faced clown monkey to forever bear his name.'

"What gear are we in, biscuit?"

'I had to stamp down on staff using nicknames at work. They even had one for me!'

Naming that Impala

Tom Cruise

J.P.Hensmore Superintendent AKA Head Honcho, The Big Guy,The Man, Numero Uno and The Big Cheese.

"Sinead?!"

Books: Names That Will Make Your Child Hate You!

Dear Sadie, I'm just an aging Baby-Boomer who still believes in America, and sees all the good around me, but I don't understand why we've become so mean. How can I feel good about us again? Signed, Marlemarion. Great question. There's an easy answer as to how you can feel better about the world. Change your name to something normal! I just don't agree with the @#$% premise that we've gotten mean.

"The definitions in this dictionary seem at odds with the words they're describing?"

What really became of the boy named Sue.

'My other baby is Mercedes'

"Really? 'Yeller'? That's what you want to name him?"

"Costs have risen by 200% and we are behind schedule. We are living up to our acronym gentlemen and I am not happy about it!!"

'Charles Frederick and Camilla Gladys!'

"We're callin' 'im Bill, coz he came at the end of the month"

Thesaurus Publishing: Welcome, Greetings, Salutations

'Agreed, 'Laplace Algebra Matrix Expansion' is a good topic, but we'd better find a better acronym if we want to secure a Research Grant...'

1,001 names to Embarrass Your Child for Life.

"In my experience, cars with hyphens in their names are the best."

'Now that I'm King, no more of that 'Eddie' stuff, Mom.'

CEO, CFO, MOO.