Naming Enthusiasts Gifts

'If you really loved me you'd never have called me Euthanasia!'

You've renamed your small coffee? It's called a big now. That's absurd! It's the same size - the smallest size! It's marketing hooey! Why not call this napkin a scone?! Careful. Huh? Brilliant! Sale on scones! Oh dear.

"I'm afraid the name Sally is taken, but Sally2015### is available."

"Find one that uses only A, D, G, I, M, N, T and will be easier for him to text her when she's a teenager."

Mom! Don't call me abominadorable in front of my friends!

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

"His name is James Tom Dave Jon Lee Robert Glenn Joseph Tony Sam Barnes. We didn't want to hurt any relatives' feelings by not naming him after them."

'I've drawn up a shortlist of baby names.'

What should we do this fine Sunday? I have an idea. Let's spend the day staring at each other and using pet names. Ahem. You affection is making us ill! They're upset, Monkey Bear. You're so handsome. We're trying to eat!

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

"Are you the one they call El Cóndor?"

'And though he died during the hunt, we can only assume that George L Jones would want this new species of butt-faced clown monkey to forever bear his name.'

Mort Park! You mean Killer. You're sprung, Killer. I'm free to go? Unless you're so tough now you'd rather stay. I mean a guy named Killer probably likes jail. Mail me my blanky.

Baptism Then and Now

Tom Cruise

Naming that Impala

His real name is Jasper Underwood Farthington III...but we just call him 'Stinky'.

Books: Names That Will Make Your Child Hate You!

'I know you can make this project go. That's why I call you 'The Magic Motor'.'

Dear Sadie, I'm just an aging Baby-Boomer who still believes in America, and sees all the good around me, but I don't understand why we've become so mean. How can I feel good about us again? Signed, Marlemarion. Great question. There's an easy answer as to how you can feel better about the world. Change your name to something normal! I just don't agree with the @#$% premise that we've gotten mean.

All day I design high tech communication devices...yet at a party I'm lost without name tags.

"Sinead?!"

What really became of the boy named Sue.

'My other baby is Mercedes'

'Then again, who says we can't call it a mangelwurzel?'

"Really? 'Yeller'? That's what you want to name him?"

"We're callin' 'im Bill, coz he came at the end of the month"

1,001 names to Embarrass Your Child for Life.

'For the sake of convenience everybody just calls me Joe.'

Mr Long and Miss Short.

"One of you will be Kevin, one will be Kev and one will be K. You decide who."

Changing house name.

Bud's Club...Where Buds, Bubs and Bros gather!

The Beckham's son's name is Spanish for cross. I'd be cross if someone called me that.

"Some people call me a ball-buster, but I prefer cojones-crusher."