Naming Enthusiast Gifts

'We can call it a library, a media center or a resource room, but we are not going to call it an internet cafe.'

Changing house name.

"I'd like to know who the heck was in charge of the naming!"

"He looks like a Norman to me."

"We're calling our son Wikipedia, so if he grows up with no entries, he'll at least have his name working for him.'

Naming that Impala

"My master has trouble making a decision."

"How about a classic dog name like Rover or maybe Fido. A good classic dog name, you know? Any ideas? Those are all I got."

Mom! Don't call me abominadorable in front of my friends!

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

'I've drawn up a shortlist of baby names.'

What should we do this fine Sunday? I have an idea. Let's spend the day staring at each other and using pet names. Ahem. You affection is making us ill! They're upset, Monkey Bear. You're so handsome. We're trying to eat!

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

Baptism Then and Now

'And though he died during the hunt, we can only assume that George L Jones would want this new species of butt-faced clown monkey to forever bear his name.'

"Are you the one they call El Cóndor?"

Mort Park! You mean Killer. You're sprung, Killer. I'm free to go? Unless you're so tough now you'd rather stay. I mean a guy named Killer probably likes jail. Mail me my blanky.

Tom Cruise

'I'll never understand parents. They name you Patrick O'Kelly O'Grady and then punish you for shenanigans.'

'You failed your Latin exam! But Sweety, it's important to learn Latin: All your friends' names have Latin roots...'

'Then again, who says we can't call it a mangelwurzel?'

'I know you can make this project go. That's why I call you 'The Magic Motor'.'

All day I design high tech communication devices...yet at a party I'm lost without name tags.

Dear Sadie, I'm just an aging Baby-Boomer who still believes in America, and sees all the good around me, but I don't understand why we've become so mean. How can I feel good about us again? Signed, Marlemarion. Great question. There's an easy answer as to how you can feel better about the world. Change your name to something normal! I just don't agree with the @#$% premise that we've gotten mean.

His real name is Jasper Underwood Farthington III...but we just call him 'Stinky'.

What really became of the boy named Sue.

"Really? 'Yeller'? That's what you want to name him?"

Books: Names That Will Make Your Child Hate You!

"I'm afraid pretty much every esoteric company name is taken so we're left with 'Mugwump', 'Grungydink' or 'Buh'."

"We're callin' 'im Bill, coz he came at the end of the month"

"She introduces herself as Drosophila Melanogaster, but everyone knows she's just a common fruit fly."

1,001 names to Embarrass Your Child for Life.

Can I be Frank with you?

'I'll know Mr. Right when I see him. Upon marriage, he'll be willing to change his last name to mine.'

Mr Long and Miss Short.