Baby Name Enthusiast Gifts

'I've drawn up a shortlist of baby names.'

'The Beckhams called Brooklyn after where he was conceived so...'

We named him after my father. John? No. Dad.

"What's her working title?"

'We named him after Andy Rooney because of his irritating whine.'

'You can't have another baby, we've got no space for another name!'

'I'm sorry we named baby Fabio after the whole England squad now...'

"We don't know, we can't understand a word he says."

"Aaahh - how sweet! What's your baby's name?"

Car Fanatic Baby Name Brainstorm

Mom! Don't call me abominadorable in front of my friends!

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

"His name is James Tom Dave Jon Lee Robert Glenn Joseph Tony Sam Barnes. We didn't want to hurt any relatives' feelings by not naming him after them."

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

What should we do this fine Sunday? I have an idea. Let's spend the day staring at each other and using pet names. Ahem. You affection is making us ill! They're upset, Monkey Bear. You're so handsome. We're trying to eat!

"What a coincidence, that's my name, too!"

Mort Park! You mean Killer. You're sprung, Killer. I'm free to go? Unless you're so tough now you'd rather stay. I mean a guy named Killer probably likes jail. Mail me my blanky.

"Are you the one they call El Cóndor?"

Baptism Then and Now

'And though he died during the hunt, we can only assume that George L Jones would want this new species of butt-faced clown monkey to forever bear his name.'

Tom Cruise

"… She's simply asking that you no longer refer to her as 'the dog.'"

Naming that Impala

'You failed your Latin exam! But Sweety, it's important to learn Latin: All your friends' names have Latin roots...'

'I know you can make this project go. That's why I call you 'The Magic Motor'.'

Dear Sadie, I'm just an aging Baby-Boomer who still believes in America, and sees all the good around me, but I don't understand why we've become so mean. How can I feel good about us again? Signed, Marlemarion. Great question. There's an easy answer as to how you can feel better about the world. Change your name to something normal! I just don't agree with the @#$% premise that we've gotten mean.

What really became of the boy named Sue.

His real name is Jasper Underwood Farthington III...but we just call him 'Stinky'.

Books: Names That Will Make Your Child Hate You!

'Then again, who says we can't call it a mangelwurzel?'

"This is Dakota, Bodie and Scout—And our dog, Richard."

"Really? 'Yeller'? That's what you want to name him?"

"We're callin' 'im Bill, coz he came at the end of the month"

1,001 names to Embarrass Your Child for Life.