Modern Naming Aficionados Gifts

"Their names are Sportster and Softail. My husband named them."

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

Mom! Don't call me abominadorable in front of my friends!

"His name is James Tom Dave Jon Lee Robert Glenn Joseph Tony Sam Barnes. We didn't want to hurt any relatives' feelings by not naming him after them."

'I've drawn up a shortlist of baby names.'

What should we do this fine Sunday? I have an idea. Let's spend the day staring at each other and using pet names. Ahem. You affection is making us ill! They're upset, Monkey Bear. You're so handsome. We're trying to eat!

'And though he died during the hunt, we can only assume that George L Jones would want this new species of butt-faced clown monkey to forever bear his name.'

Baptism Then and Now

Naming that Impala

Tom Cruise

Dear Sadie, I'm just an aging Baby-Boomer who still believes in America, and sees all the good around me, but I don't understand why we've become so mean. How can I feel good about us again? Signed, Marlemarion. Great question. There's an easy answer as to how you can feel better about the world. Change your name to something normal! I just don't agree with the @#$% premise that we've gotten mean.

'Then again, who says we can't call it a mangelwurzel?'

"Really? 'Yeller'? That's what you want to name him?"

"Sinead?!"

Books: Names That Will Make Your Child Hate You!

What really became of the boy named Sue.

'My other baby is Mercedes'

All day I design high tech communication devices...yet at a party I'm lost without name tags.

"We're callin' 'im Bill, coz he came at the end of the month"

"It's David."

1,001 names to Embarrass Your Child for Life.

Mr Long and Miss Short.

Changing house name.

The Beckham's son's name is Spanish for cross. I'd be cross if someone called me that.

"The floor is now open for discussion of what to name ou generation."

"Since Jesus keeps changing our names, I thought name tags would be nice."

"These are my sons, Brayden, Caden, Aiden, and Maiden."

"We're still working out the numerology for a name."

'Therefore I do christen this child 'Isyouis Oris You Ain't.''

'Aren't they wonderful? And your wife's already named them John and Edward.'

When More Government Is A Good Thing

Luna - short for Lunatic.

"We're for calling it 'Hampton,' but they want to call it 'the Hamptons.' "

'The aurora borealis. Which is why you should never name something with your mouth full.'

'Come on, I've been waiting twenty minutes.' - 'Shut up. I'm choosing a name for my baby.'