Advice Column Aficionado Gifts

Ask Sadie. Sadie, I have a temper. Whenever someone defies me, I get angry. Please advise. - Hot Temper. *Actual reader questions. You're right you have a problem. Don't get angry when someone defies you. Get angry even when they agree with you! Where do readers come up with this nonsense? Get taunting advice at asksadieshow@gmail.com

"This advice column is the worst trash I've ever read! And I should know! I've been reading it every day for the past 20 years!"

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

'In general, do the right thing.'

"No, I want to know the meaning of never calling your mother."

"We do not usually acknowledge unsolicited manuscripts, but we want you to know that we tore yours into tiny pieces. Yours sincerely, The Op-Ed Page."

"If you see this as motherly advice, we have a whole new subject to explore."

'Have you considered getting a life-coach?'

'If you can tell the difference between good advice and bad advice, you don't need advice.'

"Only time can heal a broken heart, Brenda, and fortunately I have the time, every Thursday at three o'clock."

Four years ago during a special episode of the Ask Sadie™ Show, our resident octogenarian asked listeners for advice about how she can deal with her midlife crisis. Dear Sadie, I was going to suggest you start a YouTube channel to share your advice with younger people. But YouTube just stabbed its content creators in the back. They stopped showing ads on videos discussing anything even remotely controversial. That's going to put so many important voices out of business. So I don't really have an

"On my taxes, I claimed my inner child as a dependent."

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, I am 62 years old and was fired from my job of 22 years just before xmas 2010. What should I do? Sincerely, Irene. Attack! Stop! Enough, Sadie. Haven't you been listening? The mean-spirited, virulent partisanship of talk show hosts must end. People were hurt and some died. Aren't you the ultimate partisan, you coot? That's different lady! Fasten your seatbelts.

'The secret to staying in business, Wilson, is making something that's needed. Profit!'

Adult Book Store. Leaving home. Finding a Job. Getting Married. Buying a House. Raising Kids. Living with Stress.

"There's someone here who says she has a word to the wise. Do we have anyone like that?"

Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers! Send your questions to asksadie@rudypark.com. Dear Ask Sadie, My mom is always nagging me to clean my room. I don't see why I should have to. I like it the way it is. I don't nag at her for having a clean room, because I know that's how she likes it. How can I get her to just let me be me? - Unhappy at Home. Excellent question. The thing is, it's your mother's job to shape you into a respectable person. If you think "being you" includes being dirt

It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. "Batfan" in Dallas, you're on. What's your problem?! House of Java Cybercafe. My girlfriend is refusing to go see "Justice League" because she things Marvel's take on the genre is the only way to do it. How do I get her to be more open-minded and tolerant? You don't! Just become less open-minded yourself. You can't change other people, you can only seek vengeance upon them. Um ... Do you happen to have Doctor Phil's number?

'They've been like this ever since Mary presented her report. It's the worst case of paralysis by analysis I've ever seen!'

'I think I've spotted our problem.' (too many consultants)

How to injury yourself as an adult

'How do you think I ended up alone on the top of a mountain?'

Avoid boys who spend more on hair products than you do!

"I'll give you some advice. When you're up to your nose, keep your mouth shut."

'I asked you for one good reason why I should follow your advice, not six.'

It's the Dr. Sadie Advice Hour. For the next two hours, I'll be taking your calls. You're on, Boise. What's your problem?! I don

"Do not bury yourself alive if allergic to burying yourself alive."

Miss Lonelyhearts Advice to the Lovelorn

'My astrologer says one thing, my guru says another, my psychiatrist says something else - I don't know who to turn to anymore.'

'Or we can go with trial-and-error.'

"I know absolutely nothing about that subject, but I will give you my opinion."

"You know, after all these years of giving you advice on all. Things personal and professional, it occurred to me that you've never actually asked for my opinion."

'This box usually yields one or two sensible suggestions,four or five stupid ideas,ten to twenty immoral suggestions and several hundred candy wrappers.'

'Oh yeah! My self help group knows a lot more than your psychiatrist. First of all, there's a lot more of them.'

"I never dreamed my fun data analysis hobby would one day turn into a career."