Advice Enthusiast Gifts

'Have you considered getting a life-coach?'

'In general, do the right thing.'

'How do you think I ended up alone on the top of a mountain?'

'The secret to staying in business, Wilson, is making something that's needed. Profit!'

'This box usually yields one or two sensible suggestions,four or five stupid ideas,ten to twenty immoral suggestions and several hundred candy wrappers.'

"There's someone here who says she has a word to the wise. Do we have anyone like that?"

"Are you listening to those bloody influencers again?"

"I'll give you some advice. When you're up to your nose, keep your mouth shut."

'My father always said 'neither a lender nor borrower be' so I went into banking.'

'The secret of success is 'name recognition.'

Avoid boys who spend more on hair products than you do!

"If you see this as motherly advice, we have a whole new subject to explore."

"Never trust anyone who claims to know what's going on."

"You know why your children don't love you because you're an insecure, whiny toad and they can smell the desperation on you."

"It's the Ask Sadie advice hour. For the next two hours, I'll be taking your calls."

"What's your question for 'Ask Sadie'?"

"No, I want to know the meaning of never calling your mother."

"Feel free to take notes."

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

"I've been reading a book of famous quotations. It's amazing how many are by a famous Greek named Anonymous."

"Tia Carmen, did you ever wish summer was over...so you could be in school?"

Opinion Dislodgement Disorder (ODD).

'Quotes, woof, woof, woof, woof, closed quotes.'

Gold versus Knowledge

"I feel I'm losing touch with the unrealistic view I have of him."

X-RAY

"...Everyone you meet on the way up, you'll meet again on the way down."

Frog Prince thinks: 'A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horsefly.'

'On a personal note, I'm pleased to report I've been upgraded from reporter to opinionated loudmouthed pundit.'

'I'm prescribing a laxative pill and a sleeping pill. Never, never take them together.'

'If you can tell the difference between good advice and bad advice, you don't need advice.'

"Only time can heal a broken heart, Brenda, and fortunately I have the time, every Thursday at three o'clock."

'Day is day and night is night. That's the opinion of the management of this station. Here with a rebuttal, is attorney...'

Children's questions

'Never mind four out of five doctors.. what do four out of five LAWYERS recommend?'