Dating Advice Enthusiast Gifts

"I feel I'm losing touch with the unrealistic view I have of him."

'Why not give him a chance, he might grow on you.'

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

"You've reached Randy the love doctor. What ails you?"

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

'In general, do the right thing.'

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

"No, I want to know the meaning of never calling your mother."

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"You lack spontaniety."

"A word of advice, sir...when your wife reaches for another slice of pizza, never, ever say, 'Are you sure you should be eating that?'"

"If you see this as motherly advice, we have a whole new subject to explore."

"I'm experiencing bouts of heavy breathing and dizziness when I'm speed dating!"

Biological Cuckoo clock

'Have you considered getting a life-coach?'

Ostrich Bar

"Ideally, I'm looking for a guy who can make me smile."

Women's Idea of Sharing/Men's Idea of Sharing.

'You remind me of my ex-ex-ex.'

'Here's how you'll know for sure. Does he always get dreamy and say it, like 'I l-o-o-o-v-e you,' - or is it just a tossed-off, 'Love ya!?'

Romantic Coffee Dates

'Are you ready to get hurt again?'

When kissing a woman, try not to burp.

A Tree Grows In . . . Wherever.

"I've become so good at dating—relationships that used to take months now last a matter of days."

'The secret to staying in business, Wilson, is making something that's needed. Profit!'

"Ask me anything you want about Water Cress!"

'If you want to get anywhere with girls, you gotta PRETEND to like bunnies, ponies, and kittens.'

'Face it, Tharg, girls just don't want to be abducted any more.'

"There's someone here who says she has a word to the wise. Do we have anyone like that?"

"Keep an eye on Old Bound Volume of Harpers. He's on the make."