Spiritual Advice Enthusiast Gifts

'what do you mean 'Don't expect miracles'? Why shouldn't I expect miracles?'

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

"An everything Martini, please."

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

'Are we there yet? Huh? Have we achieved Nirvana yet? Huh, have we?'

'In general, do the right thing.'

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

'God's forgiveness of sins ... is that like a spiritual bailout program?'

CASA DE JOY PREMIUM TEQUILA STONE BISSETT DISTILLERY CONT. NET.1000 ML 40% ALC Vol.

'Want to make it two out of three?'

"'Procreate'! I've climbed all this way to hear that the meaning of life is 'procreate'?!"

'I'll be back in three or four months - Hold that thought.'

'You're in luck. Business ethics is a gray area.'

"I seek enlightenment - and a way to outsource our company's tech support."

"No, I want to know the meaning of never calling your mother."

"Really? a frikkin' math question?"

"All the celebrities come here."

The spirit in the wall would go on and ond, but Alvin never let it bother him.

“Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!?”

Book of Life, Answers in Back.

"Behold the secret to happiness."

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

"If the headline screams catastrophe, but nobody cares to read it, does it still make a sound?"

Angry wife: 'Oh well DONE Keith! Why didn't you tell me the invite said BRING your own spirits?!'

'What is the meaning of poorly attended staff meetings.'

"Redcoat is down! Repeat, redcoat is down!"

"Couldn't you just set up a facebook page or a blog?"

"If you see this as motherly advice, we have a whole new subject to explore."

"How do I get down?"

'Oh, the guru is up on the next peak -- I'm his agent.'

"Welcome aboard - That'll be your work station over there."

'Have you considered getting a life-coach?'