Spiritual Advice Enthusiast Pillows

'what do you mean 'Don't expect miracles'? Why shouldn't I expect miracles?'

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"An everything Martini, please."

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

'In general, do the right thing.'

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

'God's forgiveness of sins ... is that like a spiritual bailout program?'

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'Want to make it two out of three?'

'I'll be back in three or four months - Hold that thought.'

"'Procreate'! I've climbed all this way to hear that the meaning of life is 'procreate'?!"

'You're in luck. Business ethics is a gray area.'

The spirit in the wall would go on and ond, but Alvin never let it bother him.

"I seek enlightenment - and a way to outsource our company's tech support."

"All the celebrities come here."

"No, I want to know the meaning of never calling your mother."

"Really? a frikkin' math question?"

“Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!?”

"Behold the secret to happiness."

Book of Life, Answers in Back.

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

Angry wife: 'Oh well DONE Keith! Why didn't you tell me the invite said BRING your own spirits?!'

'What is the meaning of poorly attended staff meetings.'

"If you see this as motherly advice, we have a whole new subject to explore."

"If the headline screams catastrophe, but nobody cares to read it, does it still make a sound?"

"How do I get down?"

'Oh, the guru is up on the next peak -- I'm his agent.'

"Redcoat is down! Repeat, redcoat is down!"

"Welcome aboard - That'll be your work station over there."

'Have you considered getting a life-coach?'