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Church of divine healing - Emergency Room.

Bed of Nails: Orthopaedic

"Not fair, he's got a bigger cushion."

Why don't you call it the "Tree of Knowledge"? That should keep them away from it.

Transcendental Hygienist: 'Say ommmm.'

'Your baptism will bring you closer to God!'

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

Sea of Galilee - Please Do Not Walk On The Water.

'I need to tell Edgar...our house sold for a million two.'

'Your late husband requests a status up date on how his stocks are doing...'

"Pack me a lunch Mom, I'm off to the mission field."

Angel ties a blindfold on a jet

"It's all in the wrist."

"Surprise!"

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

"An everything Martini, please."

"I never dreamed we'd migrate."

"I'm TRYING to extinguish my ego, but I feel so CONSPICUOUS up here!"

'Truth is fine, but I really need marketable ideas.'

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

"They're SUPPOSED to have a disparate impact!"

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

"Do you have an appointment?"

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

The ecumenical dinner party.

"What did Jesus order?"

"Excuse me, Reverend, but what, exactly, do you have to do to get a drink around here?"

10 Commitments? Sure, I guess I could give him those, too.

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'Why did Moses wander in the desert for forty years?'

'I'll let your people go when they're fully pyramid-compliant!'

"Show off."

"Wow, Jesus. That lesson rocked, someone should write this stuff down."