Spiritual Guide Enthusiast Pillows

"Why do I always get stuck with being the guardian angel to someone who can't seem to finish his Ph.D.?"

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

"Home depot."

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

'Oh, I'm not a guru -- I'm just big on personal space.'

"I'm TRYING to extinguish my ego, but I feel so CONSPICUOUS up here!"

"An everything Martini, please."

"I never dreamed we'd migrate."

'Truth is fine, but I really need marketable ideas.'

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

"Honey, I’ve found God!"

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

'You must heal yourself.'

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

Christian and Born again Christian...

"Do you have an appointment?"

"Serenity's cool and all, but when do we get to bliss?"

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

"Yes, alright! I know it's a small mountain... I'm only a novice oracle."

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"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"