Spiritual Guide Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Why do I always get stuck with being the guardian angel to someone who can't seem to finish his Ph.D.?"

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"And these are the Fab Four Noble Truths."

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

"Home depot."

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

'Oh, crap.'

"I'm TRYING to extinguish my ego, but I feel so CONSPICUOUS up here!"

'Oh, I'm not a guru -- I'm just big on personal space.'

"I never dreamed we'd migrate."

"An everything Martini, please."

'Truth is fine, but I really need marketable ideas.'

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

"Honey, I’ve found God!"

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

'There is no past. No future. Only the present, which is changing every instant. Time is merely an illusion. Got it?'

'You must heal yourself.'

FAQs.

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

"Serenity's cool and all, but when do we get to bliss?"

"Yes, alright! I know it's a small mountain... I'm only a novice oracle."

Christian and Born again Christian...

"Do you have an appointment?"

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'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.