Spiritual Journey Enthusiast Pillows

'To make a long story short, we're going to be homeless for about forty years.'

"Are we almost enlightened yet?"

"I'm not a guru. I'm a Ukrainian who came up here to escape Putin's bombs."

Investment Guru/Lifestyle Guru/Tech Guru/Fashion Guru

"No, this isn't Mt. Sinai..."

"How should I know? I've spent my life sitting on a bloody rock!"

Delivery man climbs to a mountain top

"Ow! - I've got something in my third eye!"

"Don't know. Have you tried asking Donald Trump?"

"Hey, you - stupid!"

The Penultimate Temptation of Christ

'Maybe if we put an ad on Craig's List....'

Emergency Bible for deathbed conversions only.

Lourdes Miracles.

"Don't forget to stop to take a selfie of smelling the roses and post it on social media."

Chill Out Worshippers!

"I said 'follow,' not stalk your bliss!"

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

After 39 years, 11 months, 28 days, Moses finally received the GPS he ordered from Amazon.

The only way to see the world is to see the world

"I never dreamed we'd migrate."

"I'm TRYING to extinguish my ego, but I feel so CONSPICUOUS up here!"

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

'I think I just had an epiphany. How do I make it go away?'

'Truth is fine, but I really need marketable ideas.'

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

"Wait, am I hear for you or are you here for me?"

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

'No, really, go ahead. You know me - I'm all about the journey, not the food pellet!'

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

'Don't be embarrassed ? when I first attained Nirvana, I wet my pants, too.'