Spiritual Advisers Gifts

Please Seat Yourself

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

'Are we there yet? Huh? Have we achieved Nirvana yet? Huh, have we?'

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

'God's forgiveness of sins ... is that like a spiritual bailout program?'

"'Procreate'! I've climbed all this way to hear that the meaning of life is 'procreate'?!"

'Want to make it two out of three?'

'I'll be back in three or four months - Hold that thought.'

'You're in luck. Business ethics is a gray area.'

"I seek enlightenment - and a way to outsource our company's tech support."

"If anyone wants me, Ms. Clark, I'll be down in the youth department."

The spirit in the wall would go on and ond, but Alvin never let it bother him.

“Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!?”

Buddhist photo albums,

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

"Really? a frikkin' math question?"

"All the celebrities come here."

'I'm afraid there is no Book of Loophole.'

Book of Life, Answers in Back.

"Behold the secret to happiness."

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

"Couldn't you just set up a facebook page or a blog?"

'Oh, the guru is up on the next peak -- I'm his agent.'

"Welcome aboard - That'll be your work station over there."

"If the headline screams catastrophe, but nobody cares to read it, does it still make a sound?"

"How do I get down?"

'What is the meaning of poorly attended staff meetings.'

A faulty part from an independent supplier leads to the creation of a multibillion-dollar sports medicine profession.

'Let me remind you that any advice you receive is protected by copyright and I retain all rights therein.'

'I don't offer any free advice anymore. I am offering a self-help seminar and a motivational coaching program online.'

'Don't look upon me as a priest, look upon me as your personal 'After Life Coach.''