Religious Adviser Gifts

'The Good Book makes mention of losers like yourself.'

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

God Sneezes Out Creation

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

Golfing Bishop.

"All we have left is standing room only."

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

At the 2021 Religious Games

The Current Separation of Church and State Explained.

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"

Priest

Cleric with bible briefcase.

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

"Then it's agreed. Judgment Day, whenever it comes, will fall on a Thursday, so that they'll get the long weekend."

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

'God's forgiveness of sins ... is that like a spiritual bailout program?'

Ten Commandments

Monk Prompt

"'Procreate'! I've climbed all this way to hear that the meaning of life is 'procreate'?!"

Dance of the Red (Papal) Shoes.

'I'll be back in three or four months - Hold that thought.'