Spiritual Advisors Gifts

'I'm sorry, but that will not help you find the eightfold path.'

'Glen Hoddle employs faith healer' "Remember the days we only had a magic sponge?"

'What is the meaning of poorly attended staff meetings.'

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

'Are we there yet? Huh? Have we achieved Nirvana yet? Huh, have we?'

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

'God's forgiveness of sins ... is that like a spiritual bailout program?'

'Want to make it two out of three?'

"'Procreate'! I've climbed all this way to hear that the meaning of life is 'procreate'?!"

'I'll be back in three or four months - Hold that thought.'

'You're in luck. Business ethics is a gray area.'

The spirit in the wall would go on and ond, but Alvin never let it bother him.

"I seek enlightenment - and a way to outsource our company's tech support."

"All the celebrities come here."

"If anyone wants me, Ms. Clark, I'll be down in the youth department."

“Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!?”

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

Buddhist photo albums,

"Really? a frikkin' math question?"

'I'm afraid there is no Book of Loophole.'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

Book of Life, Answers in Back.

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

"Couldn't you just set up a facebook page or a blog?"

"How do I get down?"

'Oh, the guru is up on the next peak -- I'm his agent.'

"If the headline screams catastrophe, but nobody cares to read it, does it still make a sound?"

"Welcome aboard - That'll be your work station over there."

A faulty part from an independent supplier leads to the creation of a multibillion-dollar sports medicine profession.

'Let me remind you that any advice you receive is protected by copyright and I retain all rights therein.'

'Don't look upon me as a priest, look upon me as your personal 'After Life Coach.''