Sage Advice Giver Gifts

"Careful- it might be a trap!"

"Behold the secret to happiness."

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

'I used to spring forward. Now all I can do is fall back.'

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

The older I get, the more introspective I get, or is that retrospective?'

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

'Chicken soup for dummies who don't sweat the small stuff.'

"Pastor, may we share a message with you about humility?"

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

"It just happens...one day you wake up and you find that your best billable hours are behind you."

Bishop with a crozier case.

"When I want your advice, I'll ask for it... but in an oblique, face-saving way."

"Time heals all wounds. It also kills every living thing."

"I wish you people would just read the blog."

'How am I supposed to meditate with your nose whistling?'

The girl with the sensible shoes.

"If you bring joy and enthusiasm to everything you do, people will think you're crazy."

'They say ninety is the new eighty.'

"That was a fascinating regression. Apparently, you were a pirate in a previous life!"

Couldn't you have used a smaller font?

'You're better off without him.'

"You're confusing guilt with feelings of remorse. With remorse, you don't need a lawyer."

'Plant a tree, build a house, father a child and make sure that there is a good lawyer in your closest circle of friends.'

"Don't worry, it's nothing."

'My best advice? Never miss an opportunity to pass water...'

How to believe in yourself.

"Some will love you and some will hate you. It's always been that way with anchovies."

'These people have terrible attention spans - I'll just bring them ten commandments at a time.'

'Meaning of life, eh? -- Who wants to know?'

Bucket List Coffee Shop - "Where Seniors Get Big Ideas!"

Unselfish by nature - he delights to show the novice where the big chub cruise...and where the best pike lie.

'All that we learn from history is that we don't learn from history...'