Advice Giver Gifts

'I didn't tell him how to drive. I just made a few suggestions.'

"If you bring joy and enthusiasm to everything you do, people will think you're crazy."

Battleaxe offers free advice.

'You may disagree with me now, Son, but when you're 500 years old, you'll understand.'

The girl with the sensible shoes.

"I went with the flow and wound up in the French quarter."

"Baldo, I can't believe you waited 'til the last minute to get your hair cut! You have school pictures tomorrow, and your barber is closed. That's nothing but procrastination!"

Unselfish by nature - he delights to show the novice where the big chub cruise...and where the best pike lie.

"Have you considered the possibility that you could be too old for escapology classes?"

'I know one of my shoulders is lower than the other. It's because my father's guiding hand is always on that shoulder.'

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

"Listen to me, Nathan. Chicks love bad boys."

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

"No, I want to know the meaning of never calling your mother."

'I took your advice and told him either I get a raise or I quit!'

'You are doing it wrong.'

Constructive Criticism 50c.

"Look, you're the one who asked me for some girl advice."

'When I want your opinion I'll sack you!'

"Your father would be able to afford to send you to a good college if only he had listened to me when he was your age!"

'Where you went wrong' Desk.

"I've been invited to two different thanksgivings...One with family, one with friends, which one do I go to?"

"And this is my cousin Dave, who handles the conventional wisdom."

'If you can tell the difference between good advice and bad advice, you don't need advice.'

'Learn to relax and don't bottle yourself up.'

'I've fallen in love and i've fallen in porage and believe me: porage is better.'

"When I want your advice, I'll ask for it... but in an oblique, face-saving way."

'On to the office again?' - 'No, my pro.'

"You need to stop eating that sh*t."

If you are ringing your coach to ask about your next move then we're finished.

"A word to the wise..or is it a word from the wise? I always get it mixed up."

'You're better off without him.'

'I just had to stop by and thank you for all the advice...'

'My best advice? Never miss an opportunity to pass water...'

"What's your question for 'Ask Sadie'?" "My mom's in a nursing home. I think someone's stealing her jewelry." "What's the matter, you're afraid someone is stealing your inheritance?" "Simple solution: Send your mother to Japan, where their entire culture reveres the elderly." "Sayonara, grandma!!!" "Are you sure that's not just a stereotype?" "Who cares?!"