Advice Giver Gifts

'I didn't tell him how to drive. I just made a few suggestions.'

"If you bring joy and enthusiasm to everything you do, people will think you're crazy."

Battleaxe offers free advice.

'You may disagree with me now, Son, but when you're 500 years old, you'll understand.'

The girl with the sensible shoes.

"I went with the flow and wound up in the French quarter."

"Baldo, I can't believe you waited 'til the last minute to get your hair cut! You have school pictures tomorrow, and your barber is closed. That's nothing but procrastination!"

Unselfish by nature - he delights to show the novice where the big chub cruise...and where the best pike lie.

"Have you considered the possibility that you could be too old for escapology classes?"

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

'I know one of my shoulders is lower than the other. It's because my father's guiding hand is always on that shoulder.'

"Listen to me, Nathan. Chicks love bad boys."

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

"No, I want to know the meaning of never calling your mother."

'I took your advice and told him either I get a raise or I quit!'

'You are doing it wrong.'

Constructive Criticism 50c.

"Your father would be able to afford to send you to a good college if only he had listened to me when he was your age!"

'Where you went wrong' Desk.

"I've been invited to two different thanksgivings...One with family, one with friends, which one do I go to?"

'When I want your opinion I'll sack you!'

"Look, you're the one who asked me for some girl advice."

"And this is my cousin Dave, who handles the conventional wisdom."

'If you can tell the difference between good advice and bad advice, you don't need advice.'

If you are ringing your coach to ask about your next move then we're finished.

It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. For the next two hours, I'll be taking your calls. I'll tell you how to fix your hopeless relationship or cope with all the people at work who really are better than you. Then I'll berate you for not manning up and dealing with it on your own instead of bugging me about it! Los Angeles, CA, you're on. What's your problem? Click.

'I've fallen in love and i've fallen in porage and believe me: porage is better.'

I'm the bluebird of happiness, and I'm on a book tour. Make Your Own Happiness.

'On to the office again?' - 'No, my pro.'

"When I want your advice, I'll ask for it... but in an oblique, face-saving way."

"You need to stop eating that sh*t."

'Learn to relax and don't bottle yourself up.'

It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. "Trekfan" in Dallas, you're on. WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?! House of Java Cybercafe. I've been trying to get my wife to watch sci-fi with me. But she's so closed-minded about it. Everything that I find so profound and beautiful about it, she finds silly. Stop trying to change your wife into a Xerox copy of yourself! Right now your relationship is based on the kind of incompatibility that leads to resentment, recrimination and bickering. Enjoy that. You'd make a great Kl

"A word to the wise..or is it a word from the wise? I always get it mixed up."

'You're better off without him.'