Advice Seekers Gifts

'Get your hair cut, lose some weight, have a shave, be good to your mother...'

Al's punditry barn

"So the next time you see the girl you wish to impress, just be yourself. Fulfillment comes when you know who you truly are and where you want to go in life. Thanks for calling Tia Carmen's psychic hotline!"

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

"And if all else fails, wave your arms frantically."

'I took your advice and told him either I get a raise or I quit!'

'You are doing it wrong.'

Constructive Criticism 50c.

"Look, you're the one who asked me for some girl advice."

'Where you went wrong' Desk.

"I've been invited to two different thanksgivings...One with family, one with friends, which one do I go to?"

"Your father would be able to afford to send you to a good college if only he had listened to me when he was your age!"

"If you want my opinion you're damned if you do and damned if you don't."

The girl with the sensible shoes.

COVID tips from Wild Animals

"I'm sorry your wife doesn't understand you, but this is a dry cleaner's."

'On to the office again?' - 'No, my pro.'

If you are ringing your coach to ask about your next move then we're finished.

Recruitment Agency - Tips for getting that dream job.

"Let's just say the value of your account has gone from jumbo to fun size."

'Learn to relax and don't bottle yourself up.'

"A word to the wise..or is it a word from the wise? I always get it mixed up."

'Yes, yes, yes, now seriously, what can we do to improve our health?'

"I have to tell you, I got a totally different diagnosis from someone named PookyPoo on medi-answer.com."

"If you bring joy and enthusiasm to everything you do, people will think you're crazy."

'The controversy builds, as we gather more half-arsed comments to dress up as considered public opinion!'

'I just had to stop by and thank you for all the advice...'

A Bug's Life Advice

"What's your question for 'Ask Sadie'?" "My mom's in a nursing home. I think someone's stealing her jewelry." "What's the matter, you're afraid someone is stealing your inheritance?" "Simple solution: Send your mother to Japan, where their entire culture reveres the elderly." "Sayonara, grandma!!!" "Are you sure that's not just a stereotype?" "Who cares?!"