Online Advice Seeker Gifts

"I have to tell you, I got a totally different diagnosis from someone named PookyPoo on medi-answer.com."

'If I do decide to get a second opinion, can I get it at your blog?'

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

'According to this, you owe $57.32 in late fees for the book 'Getting By on a Shoestring Budget'.'

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

'I took your advice and told him either I get a raise or I quit!'

Constructive Criticism 50c.

"Look, you're the one who asked me for some girl advice."

'Where you went wrong' Desk.

"Your father would be able to afford to send you to a good college if only he had listened to me when he was your age!"

"I've been invited to two different thanksgivings...One with family, one with friends, which one do I go to?"

"Let's just say the value of your account has gone from jumbo to fun size."

'Here's how you'll know for sure. Does he always get dreamy and say it, like 'I l-o-o-o-v-e you,' - or is it just a tossed-off, 'Love ya!?'

I'm the bluebird of happiness, and I'm on a book tour. Make Your Own Happiness.

'Learn to relax and don't bottle yourself up.'

Recruitment Agency - Tips for getting that dream job.

If you are ringing your coach to ask about your next move then we're finished.

"I'm sorry your wife doesn't understand you, but this is a dry cleaner's."

'On to the office again?' - 'No, my pro.'

It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. For the next two hours, I'll be taking your calls. I'll tell you how to fix your hopeless relationship or cope with all the people at work who really are better than you. Then I'll berate you for not manning up and dealing with it on your own instead of bugging me about it! Los Angeles, CA, you're on. What's your problem? Click.

It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. "Trekfan" in Dallas, you're on. WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?! House of Java Cybercafe. I've been trying to get my wife to watch sci-fi with me. But she's so closed-minded about it. Everything that I find so profound and beautiful about it, she finds silly. Stop trying to change your wife into a Xerox copy of yourself! Right now your relationship is based on the kind of incompatibility that leads to resentment, recrimination and bickering. Enjoy that. You'd make a great Kl

"A word to the wise..or is it a word from the wise? I always get it mixed up."

'Yes, yes, yes, now seriously, what can we do to improve our health?'

"I'm sorry, Tom, you'll have to come in. I can't diagnose just from your tweets!"

Life Extension Journal.

"What's your question for 'Ask Sadie'?" "My mom's in a nursing home. I think someone's stealing her jewelry." "What's the matter, you're afraid someone is stealing your inheritance?" "Simple solution: Send your mother to Japan, where their entire culture reveres the elderly." "Sayonara, grandma!!!" "Are you sure that's not just a stereotype?" "Who cares?!"

"Keep an eye on Old Bound Volume of Harpers. He's on the make."

"When I was young, we made statements using signs and marches!"

Ask Sadie. I am getting divorced and I moved to Vegas. Do you think that's a smart move? - Jim. *Actual reader letter. Jim, this is a great question. One I get all the time. You do? Really? Oh yes, people are always asking me for my advice after they've already done something. You're about to yell. What do you need me for if you've already moved, you !@#$ dillweed? She gives that answer all the time.

'I just had to stop by and thank you for all the advice...'

Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers! Send your questions to asksadie@rudypark.com. Dear Ask Sadie, My mom is always nagging me to clean my room. I don't see why I should have to. I like it the way it is. I don't nag at her for having a clean room, because I know that's how she likes it. How can I get her to just let me be me? - Unhappy at Home. Excellent question. The thing is, it's your mother's job to shape you into a respectable person. If you think "being you" includes being dirt

Warbling on the First Date

'Face it, Tharg, girls just don't want to be abducted any more.'