Online Advice Skeptic Gifts

"I'm sorry, Tom, you'll have to come in. I can't diagnose just from your tweets!"

Introducing... The Everything Else Morning-After Pill!

"David live a rich, full life, despite what his Wikipedia page says."

"And if all else fails, wave your arms frantically."

Coffee. The phrase "where everybody knows your name" used to sound warm and friendly. Now, with all our personal information exposed online, it sounds scary!

New from Low-Key Press.

'My daughter read on the internet about a hip replacement with free built-in MP3 player,'

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

"We'll up your medication and with any luck your delusions should significantly reduce!"

'The problem is you're a perfectionist. You don't always have to be totally evil. Sometimes it's OK to just be annoying.'

'My philosophy has always been, sell advice, don't follow it.'

Telling Self to Buzz Off

Let's try something new, Al. I'll say a word, then you remain mercifully silent for the rest of the hour.

"...And those are some of the books I would have read if the Internet had never been invented."

'According to Dr Alvin McDowell, everything that was good for you is now bad for you!'

Recruitment Agency - Tips for getting that dream job.

COVID tips from Wild Animals

Live, laugh, love

"Well, who you gonna believe? Me or Wikipedia?"

"I have to tell you, I got a totally different diagnosis from someone named PookyPoo on medi-answer.com."

"When I was a kid there was no internet. If you wanted to bully someone, you had to do it to their face."

'You can do whatever you want, Herb, but I sure wouldn't take advice from a bowl of alphabet soup!'

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

Egomaniacs Anonymous - "There's nothing anonymous about me!"

Life Extension Journal.

"I suggest you take these pills on an empty stomach."

'...Sure, I can tell you how to prevent getting old...You can lie about your age...You can smoke...And you can drive drunk...'

Older cousin press

"Do not bury yourself alive if allergic to burying yourself alive."

"No, as of yet, they are not on the internet!"

'If I do decide to get a second opinion, can I get it at your blog?'

'Self-help books for cynics'

'I haven't been trying for years and look where it's gotten me.'

Shut Yer Yapper and be Happy, Loser! There's a ton of so-called simple self-help books. The five most important questions: 7 habits of highly effective people: 7 steps to living at your fullest potential. Too many steps! She's going to be filthy rich.

'If you don't believe me, Google it.'