Online Advice Skeptic Pillows

"I'm sorry, Tom, you'll have to come in. I can't diagnose just from your tweets!"

Introducing... The Everything Else Morning-After Pill!

"And if all else fails, wave your arms frantically."

New from Low-Key Press.

'My daughter read on the internet about a hip replacement with free built-in MP3 player,'

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

'The problem is you're a perfectionist. You don't always have to be totally evil. Sometimes it's OK to just be annoying.'

'My philosophy has always been, sell advice, don't follow it.'

Telling Self to Buzz Off

Recruitment Agency - Tips for getting that dream job.

COVID tips from Wild Animals

"...And those are some of the books I would have read if the Internet had never been invented."

'According to Dr Alvin McDowell, everything that was good for you is now bad for you!'

Live, laugh, love

"Well, who you gonna believe? Me or Wikipedia?"

"When I was a kid there was no internet. If you wanted to bully someone, you had to do it to their face."

"I have to tell you, I got a totally different diagnosis from someone named PookyPoo on medi-answer.com."

'You can do whatever you want, Herb, but I sure wouldn't take advice from a bowl of alphabet soup!'

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

Egomaniacs Anonymous - "There's nothing anonymous about me!"

"I suggest you take these pills on an empty stomach."

'...Sure, I can tell you how to prevent getting old...You can lie about your age...You can smoke...And you can drive drunk...'

Older cousin press

'I haven't been trying for years and look where it's gotten me.'

'Self-help books for cynics'

"Do not bury yourself alive if allergic to burying yourself alive."

'If I do decide to get a second opinion, can I get it at your blog?'

"No, as of yet, they are not on the internet!"

'Thank goodness, the publishers rejected my self help book.'