Advice Skeptic Pillows

'My philosophy has always been, sell advice, don't follow it.'

Spent it on all the best investment advisors money can buy

'You can do whatever you want, Herb, but I sure wouldn't take advice from a bowl of alphabet soup!'

Man being eaten by snake

Introducing... The Everything Else Morning-After Pill!

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

The suggestion box.

"You atheists wouldn't exist without God!"

New from Low-Key Press.

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

Telling Self to Buzz Off

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

Suggestions Box

"Anyway, it turned out that god was a ruddy algorithm after all!"

'I hope there's something better on the 'other side'!..'

'According to Dr Alvin McDowell, everything that was good for you is now bad for you!'

'Don't believe everything you read.'

'It may look that way... But actually, I'm an atheist

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"

"and what are you giving up for lent, Reverend?" "Religion"

"I'm sorry, Tom, you'll have to come in. I can't diagnose just from your tweets!"

'How do we know YOU'RE not bearing false witness?'

'Do I ever wonder about a higher power? No, I wonder what's on TV.'

Egomaniacs Anonymous - "There's nothing anonymous about me!"

House of Wishful Thinking

'This one contains the commandments that will make people ENJOY life! Ha ha, just kidding.'

Actual Results May Vary

"I suggest you take these pills on an empty stomach."

Older cousin press

'Self service.' 'How much do I tip myself?'

'You've convinced me. I'm becoming an atheist.'

'Jesus? Jesus who?'