Serial Advice Seeker Gifts

Miss Lonelyhearts Advice to the Lovelorn

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

'According to this, you owe $57.32 in late fees for the book 'Getting By on a Shoestring Budget'.'

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

"And if all else fails, wave your arms frantically."

'I took your advice and told him either I get a raise or I quit!'

Constructive Criticism 50c.

"Look, you're the one who asked me for some girl advice."

'Where you went wrong' Desk.

"Your father would be able to afford to send you to a good college if only he had listened to me when he was your age!"

"I've been invited to two different thanksgivings...One with family, one with friends, which one do I go to?"

'The problem is you're a perfectionist. You don't always have to be totally evil. Sometimes it's OK to just be annoying.'

If you are ringing your coach to ask about your next move then we're finished.

"I'm sorry your wife doesn't understand you, but this is a dry cleaner's."

'On to the office again?' - 'No, my pro.'

Let's try something new, Al. I'll say a word, then you remain mercifully silent for the rest of the hour.

"Let's just say the value of your account has gone from jumbo to fun size."

I'm the bluebird of happiness, and I'm on a book tour. Make Your Own Happiness.

"We can work up to antidepressants, but for now I want to start you on eating a whole jar of cocktail olives over the kitchen sink."

It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. For the next two hours, I'll be taking your calls. I'll tell you how to fix your hopeless relationship or cope with all the people at work who really are better than you. Then I'll berate you for not manning up and dealing with it on your own instead of bugging me about it! Los Angeles, CA, you're on. What's your problem? Click.

It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. "Trekfan" in Dallas, you're on. WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?! House of Java Cybercafe. I've been trying to get my wife to watch sci-fi with me. But she's so closed-minded about it. Everything that I find so profound and beautiful about it, she finds silly. Stop trying to change your wife into a Xerox copy of yourself! Right now your relationship is based on the kind of incompatibility that leads to resentment, recrimination and bickering. Enjoy that. You'd make a great Kl

COVID tips from Wild Animals

Recruitment Agency - Tips for getting that dream job.

'Learn to relax and don't bottle yourself up.'

"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?!"

"A word to the wise..or is it a word from the wise? I always get it mixed up."

"I have to tell you, I got a totally different diagnosis from someone named PookyPoo on medi-answer.com."

Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers! Send your questions to asksadie@rudypark.com. Dear Ask Sadie, My mom is always nagging me to clean my room. I don't see why I should have to. I like it the way it is. I don't nag at her for having a clean room, because I know that's how she likes it. How can I get her to just let me be me? - Unhappy at Home. Excellent question. The thing is, it's your mother's job to shape you into a respectable person. If you think "being you" includes being dirt

"What's your question for 'Ask Sadie'?" "My mom's in a nursing home. I think someone's stealing her jewelry." "What's the matter, you're afraid someone is stealing your inheritance?" "Simple solution: Send your mother to Japan, where their entire culture reveres the elderly." "Sayonara, grandma!!!" "Are you sure that's not just a stereotype?" "Who cares?!"

'Plant a tree, build a house, father a child and make sure that there is a good lawyer in your closest circle of friends.'

'I just had to stop by and thank you for all the advice...'

Ask Sadie. I am getting divorced and I moved to Vegas. Do you think that's a smart move? - Jim. *Actual reader letter. Jim, this is a great question. One I get all the time. You do? Really? Oh yes, people are always asking me for my advice after they've already done something. You're about to yell. What do you need me for if you've already moved, you !@#$ dillweed? She gives that answer all the time.

A Bug's Life Advice

'...Sure, I can tell you how to prevent getting old...You can lie about your age...You can smoke...And you can drive drunk...'