Serial Advice Seeker Pillows

Miss Lonelyhearts Advice to the Lovelorn

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

"And if all else fails, wave your arms frantically."

'I took your advice and told him either I get a raise or I quit!'

Constructive Criticism 50c.

'Where you went wrong' Desk.

"I've been invited to two different thanksgivings...One with family, one with friends, which one do I go to?"

"Look, you're the one who asked me for some girl advice."

"Your father would be able to afford to send you to a good college if only he had listened to me when he was your age!"

'The problem is you're a perfectionist. You don't always have to be totally evil. Sometimes it's OK to just be annoying.'

"I'm sorry your wife doesn't understand you, but this is a dry cleaner's."

'On to the office again?' - 'No, my pro.'

"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?!"

Recruitment Agency - Tips for getting that dream job.

"Let's just say the value of your account has gone from jumbo to fun size."

If you are ringing your coach to ask about your next move then we're finished.

'Learn to relax and don't bottle yourself up.'

"We can work up to antidepressants, but for now I want to start you on eating a whole jar of cocktail olives over the kitchen sink."

COVID tips from Wild Animals

"A word to the wise..or is it a word from the wise? I always get it mixed up."

"I have to tell you, I got a totally different diagnosis from someone named PookyPoo on medi-answer.com."

"What's your question for 'Ask Sadie'?" "My mom's in a nursing home. I think someone's stealing her jewelry." "What's the matter, you're afraid someone is stealing your inheritance?" "Simple solution: Send your mother to Japan, where their entire culture reveres the elderly." "Sayonara, grandma!!!" "Are you sure that's not just a stereotype?" "Who cares?!"

'Plant a tree, build a house, father a child and make sure that there is a good lawyer in your closest circle of friends.'

A Bug's Life Advice

'I just had to stop by and thank you for all the advice...'

'...Sure, I can tell you how to prevent getting old...You can lie about your age...You can smoke...And you can drive drunk...'

'Have your daily bread every other day.'