Quirky Advice Seeker Pillows

'The problem is you're a perfectionist. You don't always have to be totally evil. Sometimes it's OK to just be annoying.'

Help for the passive-aggressive.

'...Sure, I can tell you how to prevent getting old...You can lie about your age...You can smoke...And you can drive drunk...'

'The bartender referred me to a shoe shine boy, and the shoe shine boy referred me to you.'

"I'd leave him in your wardrobe until your husband goes out"

More priceless words of encouragement from the old man.

"Take him home, have sex...Then bite his goddamn head off."

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

"And if all else fails, wave your arms frantically."

"Well, you said you wanted something to remove spiders from the bath!"

'Where you went wrong' Desk.

"We can work up to antidepressants, but for now I want to start you on eating a whole jar of cocktail olives over the kitchen sink."

COVID tips from Wild Animals

"My great-uncle Octavio always wore his hat in the house. That way, if bad company knocked on the door, he could say he was just leaving."

Recruitment Agency - Tips for getting that dream job.

"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?!"

"...and if your friends jumped off a cliff, would you jump off a cliff?"

Miss Lonelyhearts Advice to the Lovelorn

"You owe us more than your house is worth. One of our depositors will be moving in with you to help even things out."

'I'm screwed...'

"Do not bury yourself alive if allergic to burying yourself alive."

'For best results, squeeze from the bottom.'

"Vending machine is junk. For $1.00 I'll beat on it for you."

We've had a lot of power cuts lately, but but don't worry we have a back up system.

Air fresheners being pumped into the city's sewers.

"Stop the barking .50"

Psychiatrist with phrenology chart, reads bumps on head.

Have you tried drinking ?

"How about wearing heavier shoes?"

The high fibre diet

"But the tax evasion did bring me happiness."

"I need the answers to tomorrow's history test."

'It's freezing up here - I'm half naked - and you want MY advice?'

'If the shoe fits then wear it...Then get another one just like it.'

"You must try your best...no matter what you do. Just don't get obsessive."