Sage Advice Seeker Pillows

'Plant a tree, build a house, father a child and make sure that there is a good lawyer in your closest circle of friends.'

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

'I used to spring forward. Now all I can do is fall back.'

"Look, if I had all the answers, would I be living alone on the top of a mountain?"

"Do you have an appointment?"

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

The older I get, the more introspective I get, or is that retrospective?'

'Chicken soup for dummies who don't sweat the small stuff.'

'I took your advice and told him either I get a raise or I quit!'

Constructive Criticism 50c.

"Your father would be able to afford to send you to a good college if only he had listened to me when he was your age!"

"Look, you're the one who asked me for some girl advice."

"I've been invited to two different thanksgivings...One with family, one with friends, which one do I go to?"

'Where you went wrong' Desk.

"It just happens...one day you wake up and you find that your best billable hours are behind you."

"I wish you people would just read the blog."

If you are ringing your coach to ask about your next move then we're finished.

"Question authority"

'On to the office again?' - 'No, my pro.'

"Time heals all wounds. It also kills every living thing."

'Learn to relax and don't bottle yourself up.'

"I'm sorry your wife doesn't understand you, but this is a dry cleaner's."

"A word to the wise..or is it a word from the wise? I always get it mixed up."

'They say ninety is the new eighty.'

'I just had to stop by and thank you for all the advice...'

"What's your question for 'Ask Sadie'?" "My mom's in a nursing home. I think someone's stealing her jewelry." "What's the matter, you're afraid someone is stealing your inheritance?" "Simple solution: Send your mother to Japan, where their entire culture reveres the elderly." "Sayonara, grandma!!!" "Are you sure that's not just a stereotype?" "Who cares?!"

A Bug's Life Advice