Sage Advice Enthusiast T-Shirts

"It's customary to climb all the way up."

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

'I used to spring forward. Now all I can do is fall back.'

'In general, do the right thing.'

'I don't think of my skin as saggy...I think of it as relaxed-fit!'

The older I get, the more introspective I get, or is that retrospective?'

'Chicken soup for dummies who don't sweat the small stuff.'

"No, I want to know the meaning of never calling your mother."

"If you see this as motherly advice, we have a whole new subject to explore."

'Have you considered getting a life-coach?'

"It just happens...one day you wake up and you find that your best billable hours are behind you."

'I'm prescribing a laxative pill and a sleeping pill. Never, never take them together.'

'If you can tell the difference between good advice and bad advice, you don't need advice.'

"Only time can heal a broken heart, Brenda, and fortunately I have the time, every Thursday at three o'clock."

"Time heals all wounds. It also kills every living thing."

"I wish you people would just read the blog."

'They say ninety is the new eighty.'

'The secret to staying in business, Wilson, is making something that's needed. Profit!'

"There's someone here who says she has a word to the wise. Do we have anyone like that?"

"I totally forgot what I came up here for."

"You're confusing guilt with feelings of remorse. With remorse, you don't need a lawyer."

"Don't worry, it's nothing."

'No, even I don't know the secret of golf.'

'Plant a tree, build a house, father a child and make sure that there is a good lawyer in your closest circle of friends.'

How to believe in yourself.

'How do you think I ended up alone on the top of a mountain?'

'I want to lose weight, Doctor.' - 'Eat less, then.' - 'I need it to be more complicated than that.' - 'Why?' - 'How can I justify failing if it's that simple, eh?!' - 'Gah. He's breaking me...' -

"I'll give you some advice. When you're up to your nose, keep your mouth shut."

'My astrologer says one thing, my guru says another, my psychiatrist says something else - I don't know who to turn to anymore.'

"Always stay rooted, or you'll turn into a tumbleweed..."

Avoid boys who spend more on hair products than you do!

Bucket List Coffee Shop - "Where Seniors Get Big Ideas!"

'I asked you for one good reason why I should follow your advice, not six.'

'Sometimes I see problems and solutions with such clarity, I feel I've been infused with all the wisdom of the ages... THAT'S when I know I've had too much to drink.'

'These people have terrible attention spans - I'll just bring them ten commandments at a time.'