Screw Sage Pillows

A repairman has a small box marked 'Useful Screws' next to a huge box of 'Useless Screws.'

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

He can identify a fly taken by a trout at fifty yards range.

"For the last time, I’m not Bigfoot — I’m Larry from Vermont!"

Dog stretching before a walk.

In life there are things we cannot understand � the words 'get down,' invisible fences, cats...

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

I love embroidery

Daniel Day Lewis & George Glasgow

'Well, that WAS an impressive string of obscenities, but I think I'll stick with the Hippocratic oath.'

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

'On to the office again?' - 'No, my pro.'

"There's everything you need to know about exercise in here." "Is there an osteopath's phone number in there?"

"Just think, someday we'll be considered 'retro'."

"You're dated look is an absolute tour de force."

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

Bishop playing pool, "I like his unholier than thou attitude."

'Found it ... Good heavens! It's the size of a soccer ball!..'

'That's not whitewash....that's detergent!'

"My stupid yoga mat is broken!"

"I'm really having trouble dealing with the global pandemic,economic collapse and cancellation of my weekly yoga class."

"Meaning of life? Oh, you want my brother. Third mountain over on my right. Me, I'm just a hermit."

'Oh, Goddess of Fashion, speak to me!'

The Senior Citizen Surfer

"If you don't want to know the score..."

Jesus Saves

Are your cowhide coats any good?

" guess we can relax. They say they're Zulu Surfer Dudes."

"Great waves to day, dude!"

"A door can never have too many hinges."

'Larry, that tie is not your friend.'