Vehicle Sage Gifts

Your old battery doesn't recharge like it used to. I know just how it feels.

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

'This software package can cut your workload in half. Do you want to purchase two copies?'

One way only.

IMHOtep

"Your test results are back. We're going to have to remove your appendix and your wallet."

'Ere-we distinctly asked for SAM an' Ella!'

Wherever You Go, There You Are - Next Exit.

'Do you think you can turn the company around without making us all dizzy?'

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

"Don't worry Sir, you're not the first person to ask for a refund and you probably won't be the last!"

You ever wonder what would've happened if Nintendo had never existed? There'd have been no Mario Bros., and since Sega created Sonic to compete, there'd be no Sonic. And without those, the market wouldn't have been big enough to interest Sony. So … no Playstation. And no Playstation, no Xbox. Several generations of awkward teens would've had to come up with other excuses not to go outside. Sometimes I wonder if it rained where I grew up.

"Remember when we used to waste our entire lives for free?"

"Why would YOU want to know the meaning of life?"

Gawk

'Found it ... Good heavens! It's the size of a soccer ball!..'

"Well, for starters, you’re holding the shovel all wrong."

"Well the good news is that the new software analysed hundreds of thousands of potential customers to identify any that would have a genuine interest in the product. . ."

'It appears to be a blog clog.'

'Ms. Trent, would you go down to the third grade and get one of the computer techs?'

'Does it come with any Apps'

'... So I'm standing near this old guy and he's using an old, giant cell phone-- I mean this thing is ridiculous! Hahahaha!'

This one needs re-booting!

The subway-delay prophet of doom

"Meaning of life? Oh, you want my brother. Third mountain over on my right. Me, I'm just a hermit."

Computer announces to user: 'You now have more files than Al Capone had under his pillow in Alcatraz.'

A panhandler with a sign that reads "Sadder but no wiser".

Jesus Saves

"If you don't want to know the score..."

Caution - Sign partly concealed by bush

Hooked on technology

Madam Olga Fortune and Palm Reader

Old farts keep right.

The Modern Headspace.

No, I don't see any construction, either. Hard hat area.