Sports Day Humorist Gifts

"I'm afraid I'm kind of a klutz."

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Punt Cake

Football Chameleon

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

The Golfing Accident

Alternative fielding positions

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

Trojan Hurdler.

'There! See that? Brad just happens to morph into some kind of hideous amphibian just as he's about to putt? Now tell me she's not cheating!'

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

Sloth 10K.

"Getting the hang of it?"

'Clear out your desk, Randy. ...NEXT!'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

"Pastrami. My favorite, Chad. But I asked for the 'sand wedge.'"

Beijing Olympics - Treadmill.

Volcano Sacrifice Competition

'I reckon we need a new sweeper.'

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

The Leafs win the Cup!

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

The Hockey World

Cricket - The Pride of the Village.

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

Major Bunker (who has been persuaded to join in a game of hockey for the first time, absent-mindedly preparing to drive). 'Force.'