Spiritual Slugger Gifts

Monks Playing Cricket.

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

Golfing Bishop.

"I never dreamed we'd migrate."

"I'm TRYING to extinguish my ego, but I feel so CONSPICUOUS up here!"

'Truth is fine, but I really need marketable ideas.'

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

"All this pitching and hitting- I'm convinced there's a deeper meaning to it all."

"Do you have an appointment?"

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

Vishnu playing twin neck guitar.

"Wow, Jesus. That lesson rocked, someone should write this stuff down."

"Show off."

The Giamatti era

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

'What I've learnt sitting on this mountain, alone for ten years, is how boring sitting alone on a mountain for ten years is!'

'Enlightenment-shmenlightenment - what I'm worried about is tenure!'

'The water hazard holds little fear for Jesus.'

'No, I didn't get a presidential pardon, but I got something better. God has forgiven me.'

'I was up twice and got one hit, which gives me an lifetime average of 500!'

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

'Come off it-she only said the guys will be fighting over us because you said we lived UNDER a boxing club!'

'I understand the Adirondacks are where it's REALLY happening.'

2pm meet your Creator

"Oh, it's you, I'm glad I picked up.You wouldn't believe how many annoying telepathicmarketing calls I get."

"I cried because I had no shoes, till I met a man who had athlete's foot."

"The meaning of life, eh? Beats me... Let's google it."

SERMONS 'R' US - everything for the clergy.

"I need to buy a faster fastball."

'If you can't control your temper,sister,you shouldn't be playing this game!'

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

Baseball Dreams

Sport, Political, Religious and New Yorker Cartoonist Gurus.

"You've reached the consciousness-raising call center. For the meaning of life, press 1. For the secret to happiness, press 2. For the joke of the day, press 3."