Scholarly Slugger Gifts

The Giamatti era

"You still need that recipe for boiling water?"

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

"All this pitching and hitting- I'm convinced there's a deeper meaning to it all."

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

'I was up twice and got one hit, which gives me an lifetime average of 500!'

Baseball Dreams

"I need to buy a faster fastball."

'This is going really well. I did a great job organizing this lecture.'

"I know I told you to fool him into thinking you've got nothing left, but now you've got me convinced."

'Nice level swing, Billy. Just meet the ball. Don't try to kill it, Billy.'

'No, Billy, their first baseman is messing with your head. You won't go to hell for stealing second.'

'Play your best. There's going to be a scout for the ten year olds in the stands!'

"A little high and inside."

'Sir, I was wondering if I could get an extension on my paper?'

'Both benches have emptied, and now the brawl is spreading to the spectators!'

'I thought you invited me to play T-ball!'

Combing Baseball and Violin Practice.

'Sixteen home runs, 34 runs batted in, and nine stolen bases. I'd call that being good.'

"Will the witness please refrain from shagging flies."

Fans Desperately Try To Catch A Baseball

'Are you the person I see about getting a sign-up bonus and a salary?'

'This qualifies you to make educated guesses.'

"She's so smart...on the highway of life, she's in the E-Z Pass lane."

"Maybe Papi will believe it was a drive-by pitch."

UCU University Lecturer's Strike

'This pitcher throws screwballs. Better hand me my 'special' bat.'

"There it is Derek,....our nemesis!"

"It's what you deserve."

"This is unbelievable. I think I forgot to graduate."

'It's not my fault that baseballs are juiced these days!'

"What's more important to my success as a child, Dad - improving my batting skills or your dumb ol' window?"