Little Slugger Gifts

'No, Billy, their first baseman is messing with your head. You won't go to hell for stealing second.'

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

"Maybe Papi will believe it was a drive-by pitch."

"Coach says I'll never make it to the majors. My spitting and scratching need a lot of work."

'It's not my fault that baseballs are juiced these days!'

'Play your best. There's going to be a scout for the ten year olds in the stands!'

'I thought you invited me to play T-ball!'

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

"I need to buy a faster fastball."

High-gravity baseball

"Remember, kids, it's not winning that matters, it's getting a clean urine sample that's important."

"All this pitching and hitting- I'm convinced there's a deeper meaning to it all."

'I hate it when they emulate their major league heroes.'

The Giamatti era

'I was up twice and got one hit, which gives me an lifetime average of 500!'

'Well, Jimmy, it's your turn to go get it.'

'Nice level swing, Billy. Just meet the ball. Don't try to kill it, Billy.'

"I know I told you to fool him into thinking you've got nothing left, but now you've got me convinced."

'If you shoot your foot off don't coming running to me.'

'Both benches have emptied, and now the brawl is spreading to the spectators!'

Organic Salad

"A little high and inside."

Combing Baseball and Violin Practice.

"Will the witness please refrain from shagging flies."

Fans Desperately Try To Catch A Baseball

Window in the Outfield.

'Are you the person I see about getting a sign-up bonus and a salary?'

The Babe points to where his investment portfolio is going!

'This pitcher throws screwballs. Better hand me my 'special' bat.'

"You still need that recipe for boiling water?"

"There it is Derek,....our nemesis!"

Monks Playing Cricket.

"What's more important to my success as a child, Dad - improving my batting skills or your dumb ol' window?"

'He ain't never gonna read this one.'