Spiritual Surfer Gifts

'Does 'Amen' mean 'Send'?'

Jesus sighted walking off Malibu.

Surf's up!

'You didn't EITHER just friend the Pope!'

'We don't know HOW to surf - Can't you part the sea or something?'

Priest's computer screen reads: 'e-confession. Please type 10 Hail Marys ... and no cut'n'paste ...'

"I suppose a lot of people do their worshipping online these days."

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

Golfing Bishop.

"I'm TRYING to extinguish my ego, but I feel so CONSPICUOUS up here!"

"I never dreamed we'd migrate."

'I think I just had an epiphany. How do I make it go away?'

'Truth is fine, but I really need marketable ideas.'

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

'Don't be embarrassed ? when I first attained Nirvana, I wet my pants, too.'

"Do you have an appointment?"

'You're in luck. Business ethics is a gray area.'

"Show off."

"Wow, Jesus. That lesson rocked, someone should write this stuff down."

Parachuting bishop.

'What I've learnt sitting on this mountain, alone for ten years, is how boring sitting alone on a mountain for ten years is!'

How to cope in Los Angeles vs. New York

'He hasn't been the same since the Goodyear blimp sneaked up behind him.'

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

"Really? a frikkin' math question?"

..and with our new spirit website you can keep in touch with all your dead friends!

All we have in life is this moment...

'Enlightenment-shmenlightenment - what I'm worried about is tenure!'

'Have you been working out?'

'No, I didn't get a presidential pardon, but I got something better. God has forgiven me.'

"The meaning of life, eh? Beats me... Let's google it."

"I cried because I had no shoes, till I met a man who had athlete's foot."