Spiritual Surfers Gifts

It's a mobile, wireless internet device

'He googles you. That's how God knows everything about you.'

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

"I'm TRYING to extinguish my ego, but I feel so CONSPICUOUS up here!"

"I never dreamed we'd migrate."

'I think I just had an epiphany. How do I make it go away?'

'Truth is fine, but I really need marketable ideas.'

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

'There is no past. No future. Only the present, which is changing every instant. Time is merely an illusion. Got it?'

'Don't be embarrassed ? when I first attained Nirvana, I wet my pants, too.'

"Do you have an appointment?"

'You're in luck. Business ethics is a gray area.'

"Show off."

"Wow, Jesus. That lesson rocked, someone should write this stuff down."

"Really? a frikkin' math question?"

..and with our new spirit website you can keep in touch with all your dead friends!

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

'He hasn't been the same since the Goodyear blimp sneaked up behind him.'

'What I've learnt sitting on this mountain, alone for ten years, is how boring sitting alone on a mountain for ten years is!'

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

How to cope in Los Angeles vs. New York

All we have in life is this moment...

'Enlightenment-shmenlightenment - what I'm worried about is tenure!'

'No, I didn't get a presidential pardon, but I got something better. God has forgiven me.'

'Have you been working out?'

"I cried because I had no shoes, till I met a man who had athlete's foot."

"The meaning of life, eh? Beats me... Let's google it."

'Come off it-she only said the guys will be fighting over us because you said we lived UNDER a boxing club!'

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.