Existential Slugger Gifts

"All this pitching and hitting- I'm convinced there's a deeper meaning to it all."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

"Nihilistic customer service"

'The stage hypnotist was great, he regressed Jeff to a previous life, and discovered that he was a layabout then, too.'

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

The Giamatti era

Business Sisyphus

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

"I've come to stage in my life-cycle where just landing on stuff isn't good enough anymore."

"I need to buy a faster fastball."

'I believe there's an unseen hand behind everything we do.'

'And the recruiter from IBM - did you also tell him that at college you mostly sat on a rock by the sea, trying to find yourself?'

"I think, therefore I am depressed."

Waiting Room For Godot.

Man falls off perch

"This is a little embarrassing to admit, but everything that happens happens for no real reason."

"If, indeed, there is a reason for all this, than that's so much worse."

If a tree falls on a philosopher in the woods, and no one is there to hear his screams for help, did he really make a sound?

"But if I say I'm in denial then, by definition, I'm not in denial."

"I've done a lot of soul searching, and I've come to the conclusion that I should be thinking less about money and more about naked women."

"I'm sorry, Mister Mulligan is dead. . . would you care to wait?"

"I know I told you to fool him into thinking you've got nothing left, but now you've got me convinced."

"I thought the snow would never start"

Psychiatry. I know I've lost touch with reality, but in my defense, reality started it.

"Yes, but can your philosophical speculations on existence also be relative to why I crossed the road?"

'I can just see him twenty years down the road pitching for the Giants.'

He dies at the end. There, I've spoiled every story ever written. Whether it's a person, a quest, ennui, a dream, a struggle, hope, despair, innocence, cynicism, a romance, a friendship, or an estrangement

'Existential truckstop'

'No, Billy, their first baseman is messing with your head. You won't go to hell for stealing second.'

"Do you think he'll bring treats?"

Philosophie.fr Bulletin Board - 1936