Spiritual Climber Gifts

"It's a pretty stiff climb up here - Next time, could I just PRAY?"

"Actually, can you just tell me what he said?"

Monks don't get paid much, but there's a lot of 'Upward Mobility.'

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

"Home depot."

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

"I'm TRYING to extinguish my ego, but I feel so CONSPICUOUS up here!"

"I never dreamed we'd migrate."

'I think I just had an epiphany. How do I make it go away?'

'Truth is fine, but I really need marketable ideas.'

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

"Honey, I’ve found God!"

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

'You must heal yourself.'

'Don't be embarrassed ? when I first attained Nirvana, I wet my pants, too.'

Christian and Born again Christian...

"Yes, alright! I know it's a small mountain... I'm only a novice oracle."

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

"Do you have an appointment?"

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

"Look, if I had all the answers, would I be living alone on the top of a mountain?"

'You're in luck. Business ethics is a gray area.'

Proceed no further if chakras not aligned.

"Show off."

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

"Wow, Jesus. That lesson rocked, someone should write this stuff down."