Spiritual Explorer Gifts

"I just feel we'd know more people in Hell."

"The answer you seek can be found in the syllabus."

"To listen to your instincts, press one."

'I can explain the meaning of life, but I can't explain Medicare drug coverage.'

A person seeking truth walks on a treadmill.

"This week on 'The Amazing Race to Enlightenment,' can Jim and Suzy achieve right mindfulness? And will Barb and Candy be eliminated for relentless clinging to the self?"

"And this is my cousin Dave, who handles the conventional wisdom."

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

God's map of the universe

I dunno. What do you think I should do? Finally… the moment he'd been praying for.

"What's the takeaway on all this?"

Wise man reading book called 'One liners for people looking for the meaning of life.'

"...'heighted awareness' is on the next hill"

"I have reached the higher plane of consciousness and enlightenment."

'I've been praying for a revelation, but nothing happens!'

"You're getting a second chance—you'll go back, start over and this time, try to have some fun."

"I'm a religious nut."

'I always answer their questions with a question - it drives them nuts!'

Working from OM

'It all sounds good but I want something I can get in pill form.'

"When you get a chance, remember to ask God the meaning of life-it's a riot."

"My mind is especially empty today."

'Well, people - I'm afraid He's raised the bar.'

"Says WHO?"

"O.K., you've created the universe. What's your exit strategy?"

Proceed no further if chakras not aligned.

"Apparently, he was a firm believer in reincarnation... He's left everything to himself."

'Don't trust him David - he's an authority figure.'

'It's an innovative way to boost attendance.'

A small but significant step in the spiritual journey of a french fry: 'I am not junk!'

"None of this seems to be doing me any good at all!"

Herb has a brief but intense near-life experience.

It was a very, very interesting day.

"Someday I want to be rich enough to get rid of everything and live like a monk."

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"