Spiritual Explorer Gifts

"I just feel we'd know more people in Hell."

"The answer you seek can be found in the syllabus."

"To listen to your instincts, press one."

'I can explain the meaning of life, but I can't explain Medicare drug coverage.'

A person seeking truth walks on a treadmill.

"This week on 'The Amazing Race to Enlightenment,' can Jim and Suzy achieve right mindfulness? And will Barb and Candy be eliminated for relentless clinging to the self?"

"And this is my cousin Dave, who handles the conventional wisdom."

I dunno. What do you think I should do? Finally… the moment he'd been praying for.

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

God's map of the universe

'The secret to finding all knowledge is to use exactly the right keywords when you google.'

"What's the takeaway on all this?"

Wise man reading book called 'One liners for people looking for the meaning of life.'

"...'heighted awareness' is on the next hill"

"I have reached the higher plane of consciousness and enlightenment."

'I've been praying for a revelation, but nothing happens!'

"You're getting a second chance—you'll go back, start over and this time, try to have some fun."

'The meaning of life? Let me Google that for you.'

'I'm going on a vision quest, do you want anything from Starbucks?'

'I always answer their questions with a question - it drives them nuts!'

'It all sounds good but I want something I can get in pill form.'

Working from OM

"I'm a religious nut."

"O.K., you've created the universe. What's your exit strategy?"

"Says WHO?"

A small but significant step in the spiritual journey of a french fry: 'I am not junk!'

'Well, people - I'm afraid He's raised the bar.'

"My mind is especially empty today."

"Apparently, he was a firm believer in reincarnation... He's left everything to himself."

'It's an innovative way to boost attendance.'

"When you get a chance, remember to ask God the meaning of life-it's a riot."

Proceed no further if chakras not aligned.

'Don't trust him David - he's an authority figure.'

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

Yoga Cow