Spirituality Explorer Gifts

"No, but I can tell you the meaning of whole or term life insurance."

"What if the meek don't want it?"

'God created Heaven and Earth and it didn't cost the taxpayers a cent?'

'You see me coming here every week and paying you fifty dollars...'

'Now, don't quote me without permission - all this wisdom is copyrighted.'

'Are you sure you want to go through with this? -- some people think enlightenment is overrated.'

'What do you mean. . . in a perfect heaven?'

SUNDAY SCHOOL, 'We're supposed to love our enemies? -- Is this some sort of ZEN thing?'

'Can you take away my worms?'

I'd like you to... ward off evil spirits coming from the Inland Revenue office across the way.

Buddists singing 'Harvey Krishna,Harvey Krishna'

"I'm going to a seance tomorrow night, so I'll give you your test results then."

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

"And these are the Fab Four Noble Truths."

"Home depot."

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

'Oh, crap.'

"I never dreamed we'd migrate."

"I'm TRYING to extinguish my ego, but I feel so CONSPICUOUS up here!"

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

'I think I just had an epiphany. How do I make it go away?'

'Truth is fine, but I really need marketable ideas.'

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

"Honey, I’ve found God!"

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

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