Spiritual Adventurer Gifts

"If I knew the meaning of life, would I be sitting in a cave in my underpants?"

"Are we there yet?"

'To become ONE with the Universe, you must first become COMPLIANT with the Universe!'

It was the answer to his prayers. Not the one he was hoping for, but an answer nonetheless.

"Hold down control and shift and press escape."

"I have a spiritual side, but mostly I'm an eating machine."

'The road to Nirvana: 'Am I there yet? Huh? Am I? Huh? Am I there yet? Huh?'

Sport, Political, Religious and New Yorker Cartoonist Gurus.

Guru's Universal Answer

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

THE FIRST CHURCH OF HOW THE HELL SHOULD I KNOW?

'Enlightenment-shmenlightenment - what I'm worried about is tenure!'

'You've wasted a lot of time. It's all on my blog.'

'It's not all bad. Having a little downtime allows you to do some soul-searching.'

'Hey - enlighten up!'

'For cryin' out loud, will you get back into your body?! It's just a concussion.'

"To meditate on the mysteries of nature. Why do you come?"

"Resisting temptation here at the monastery is too easy - let's go to Las Vegas for a real challenge!"

"You've reached the consciousness-raising call center. For the meaning of life, press 1. For the secret to happiness, press 2. For the joke of the day, press 3."

'Truth is fine, but I really need marketable ideas.'

'No, I didn't get a presidential pardon, but I got something better. God has forgiven me.'

A priest with inboxes marked 'Temporal' and 'Eternal'

"Here at Pharmacorp we are 100% behind the benefits of spiritual and artistic therapies which is why we've developed 'megazymol' to enhance the experience."

'Money isn't everything... That'll be five pounds please.'

'Yes, I know the Meaning of Life, but I've decided to franchise it!'

'Your best bet is reincarnation.'

"Reject the modern world."

Astral Projection: 'Just give it a rest until you know what you're doing!'

'The hokey pokey. That's what it's all about.

"If you're so enlightened, how come you can't lick that slice?"

'Can you take away my worms?'

Truth seeker sees Guru's sign: 'Out of Body, Back at ...'

'No, I don't know the meaning of life, but if you'll hum a few bars, I'll try to find it on my iPhone.'

'Hope it's legit. I never had the chance to say good riddance.'

'Do you believe in reincarnation?' - 'I don't now, but I did when I was Napoleon.'