Spirited Adventurer Gifts

Car driving towards a sign that reads "You are now entering The Holidays - No exits"

"I wonder if I'd still have a paper route if I hadn't been born in the land of opportunity?"

I can't believe Randy works at a male strip club. I feel weird. I drank too much. You did not. You've had two drinks. Don't be a whiner. I think I love Rudy. Step away from the bottle, lush! I'm afraid.

'Martha, it's me...Please send out the kids to look for me.'

Alcoholidays.

'I told you to sip it!'

Sticking out tongue

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

"I think I speak for my entire generation when I say, 'Yes, I will have another drink.' "

"I'm TRYING to extinguish my ego, but I feel so CONSPICUOUS up here!"

"I never dreamed we'd migrate."

'Truth is fine, but I really need marketable ideas.'

Man propelled by love

"Now you can send it."

'Bloody streakers - they have a lot to learn.'

"Follow that dream!" (man boarding taxi)

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

Creative Baby.

Shoot For The Moon

"Do you have an appointment?"

"Show off."

"Wow, Jesus. That lesson rocked, someone should write this stuff down."

"...it's another metal detector."

'What I've learnt sitting on this mountain, alone for ten years, is how boring sitting alone on a mountain for ten years is!'

Welcome Ghost.

Do you ever wonder if there's really a higher power? What do you mean? Is there an all-knowing being that keeps track of you? That always knows where you are

'Enlightenment-shmenlightenment - what I'm worried about is tenure!'

Mad For It

'No, I didn't get a presidential pardon, but I got something better. God has forgiven me.'

"Oh, it's you, I'm glad I picked up.You wouldn't believe how many annoying telepathicmarketing calls I get."

"I cried because I had no shoes, till I met a man who had athlete's foot."

"The meaning of life, eh? Beats me... Let's google it."