Spirit Explorer Gifts

"I've been drunk on oil, but what really knocks your socks off is ethanol."

'Can't talk now, I'm just going into a tunnel.'

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

"Home depot."

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

"I'm TRYING to extinguish my ego, but I feel so CONSPICUOUS up here!"

Unguided imagery

"I never dreamed we'd migrate."

'Truth is fine, but I really need marketable ideas.'

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

"Had more ghost-hunters 'round my place last night....scared the daylights outta me!"

"Honey, I’ve found God!"

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

'You must heal yourself.'

'You can't come in here with that.'

'Yes, they were using it to clean up the graffiti!'

"Yes, alright! I know it's a small mountain... I'm only a novice oracle."

Christian and Born again Christian...

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

"Do you have an appointment?"

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'