Spirit Investigator Gifts

Wine...Spirits...

"Oh, and I've started seeing a therapist."

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

"Home depot."

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

Unguided imagery

Ducks and hares taken in by a wolf at a seance

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

"Honey, I’ve found God!"

"Wait, am I hear for you or are you here for me?"

"Had more ghost-hunters 'round my place last night....scared the daylights outta me!"

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

'You must heal yourself.'

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

'Yes, they were using it to clean up the graffiti!'

'You can't come in here with that.'

"Yes, alright! I know it's a small mountain... I'm only a novice oracle."

Christian and Born again Christian...

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

"It's going to be huge! Cheese-flavored vodka!"

Proceed no further if chakras not aligned.

"I'd like to have a word with you about this spirit animal."