Spirit Investigator Gifts

Wine...Spirits...

"Oh, and I've started seeing a therapist."

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"And these are the Fab Four Noble Truths."

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

"Home depot."

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

Unguided imagery

Ducks and hares taken in by a wolf at a seance

"Had more ghost-hunters 'round my place last night....scared the daylights outta me!"

"Honey, I’ve found God!"

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

"Wait, am I hear for you or are you here for me?"

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

'You must heal yourself.'

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

"Yes, alright! I know it's a small mountain... I'm only a novice oracle."

FAQs.

Christian and Born again Christian...

'Yes, they were using it to clean up the graffiti!'

'You can't come in here with that.'

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

He snuck in on me again, didn't he.

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.

Ghost puddle

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

"It's going to be huge! Cheese-flavored vodka!"